The porn addict...

Accountability

As men, we carry our pride like a badge of honor. We use it for a shield against anything that might threaten our self-esteem. We hide behind it when other people attempt to offer suggestions which, if followed, would require us to change our courses in life. We know better than anyone else what is best for ourselves. After all, we managed to bring ourselves to the place in life where we are. And we will do a fine job of going on to the next step.

Therein lies one of the greatest problems that men who are addicted to pornography face. Because they believe that they know what is best for them, and because they do not want anyone violating their manhood by telling them what to do, they continue blindly down the same road of destruction that brought them to the place where they are. That place may be one where, because of his pornography addiction, his marriage has fallen apart, his financial situation has deteriorated, and worst of all, his spiritual relationship has all but disappeared.

It is crucial that men come to the understanding that they cannot fight this battle alone. Perhaps you are one who considers himself to be a "self-made man," one who has fought his way up the corporate ladder - only to find that you were the only one there when you arrived. If you are a pornography addict, you should consider that by yourself, you managed to crawl all the way to where you are. In the world of pornography use and addiction, the ladder goes down, not up. It goes straight down into a pit that has the ability to totally consume any of us.

Accountability is often discounted as nothing more than a crutch, a place to hide one's own inadequacies. Objections to accountability are usually rooted in pride - that same pride that says you don't need help. God takes a different view, though.

"As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17 NKJV)

"Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:11-12 NKJV)

Admitting the need for accountability is not surrendering your manliness. It is not the sign of a weak person. It is not a crutch that might allow one to think he can walk without assistance when in fact, he can't. Instead, it is the sign of a man who is big enough to admit that he cannot do everything. Accountability is one of the most powerful weapons we have in the battle against pornography addiction. The use of that weapon allows us to admit to our friend (our accountability partner) that we have come against something that, at least for a moment was more powerful than we were. It allows us to admit that we need help to fight that enemy, but in a way that brings no reproach. Ultimately, it provides support in a battle that simply cannot be fought alone.

An accountable person...

1. is not afraid to be vulnerable.
   


2. gladly accepts the availability of such helps as a filtered ISP.
   


3. can recognize and admit when he has fallen.
   


4. picks himself back up after a fall.
   


5. is not afraid of tough questions.
   

Straight answers

to tough questions and excuses.

Accountability is only one part of a successful plan for recovery. There are other factors involved, like getting over the selfishness that characterizes most pornography addicts. Click here to read questions like the ones that we receive regularly from men around the world. They are questions that you might have asked at one time or another.

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